Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
