Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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