i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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