he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.