Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I have demons in me.

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  (757): I have demons in me. http://tfl.nu/h6bj
  Replies (12) Good night (1136) Bad night (1593)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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  (901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/fpgv
  Replies (16) Good night (3575) Bad night (744)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4365) Bad night (701)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You left your underwear on the fireplace

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  (843): You left your underwear on the fireplace http://tfl.nu/ha55
  Replies (4) Good night (2437) Bad night (770)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2802) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.

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  (717): You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k5p0
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (2425)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?

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  (802): So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going? http://tfl.nu/1d2j
  Replies (8) Good night (1986) Bad night (995)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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  (217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (1488)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.

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  (518): I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ha5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.

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  (701): Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year. http://tfl.nu/wvcz
  Replies (5) Good night (1162) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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  (561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

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  (519): The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING" http://tfl.nu/92g2
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.

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  (401): Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media. http://tfl.nu/q9vk
  Replies (6) Good night (524) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.

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  (612): I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen. http://tfl.nu/6isz
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America

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  (801): I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America http://tfl.nu/elrw
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (219)

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