Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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  (989): Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's http://tfl.nu/0ar1
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (521)
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  (518): View more from New York

  everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.

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  (518): everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/bvtl
  Replies (30) Good night (3979) Bad night (709)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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  (901): I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort. http://tfl.nu/dcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (3291) Bad night (594)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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  (484): bad idea #53- masterbating while on period. http://tfl.nu/6cye
  Replies (80) Good night (862) Bad night (6949)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6380) Bad night (2106)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.

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  (303): I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/1fh9
  Replies (23) Good night (1092) Bad night (5376)
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  (585): View more from New York

  eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

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  (585): eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch' http://tfl.nu/cs24
  Replies (7) Good night (2643) Bad night (1497)
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  (760): View more from California

  I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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  (760): I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional. http://tfl.nu/8oha
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (483)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2279) Bad night (830)
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  (387): View more from

  The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

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  (387): The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them? http://tfl.nu/qjyv
  Replies (11) Good night (1435) Bad night (371)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

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  (613): Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/ozdm
  Replies (6) Good night (388) Bad night (741)
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  (585): View more from New York

  pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.

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  (585): pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable. http://tfl.nu/657k
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (252)
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  (596): View more from

  Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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  (596): Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop. http://tfl.nu/tzap
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (252)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka

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  (201): I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka http://tfl.nu/upfv
  Replies (4) Good night (262) Bad night (579)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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  (303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (484)

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