Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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  (573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee
  Replies (22) Good night (841) Bad night (3473)
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  (925): View more from California

  Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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  (925): Should I have kids to fix a relationship?? http://tfl.nu/aeth
  Replies (56) Good night (570) Bad night (8677)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

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  (201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice. http://tfl.nu/k20h
  Replies (76) Good night (725) Bad night (7338)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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  (617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up http://tfl.nu/71wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4861) Bad night (774)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (28289) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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  (715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night. http://tfl.nu/2r4z
  Replies (6) Good night (4263) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

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  (901): I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl" http://tfl.nu/soyj
  Replies (17) Good night (1134) Bad night (4111)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits

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  (248): you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits http://tfl.nu/vmd3
  Replies (4) Good night (2200) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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  (218): Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county. http://tfl.nu/h5dk
  Replies (12) Good night (1357) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.

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  (724): She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her. http://tfl.nu/mjsv
  Replies (14) Good night (636) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.

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  (509): The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift. http://tfl.nu/2o45
  Replies (9) Good night (489) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

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  (323): Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend http://tfl.nu/fcuo
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.

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  (908): I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice. http://tfl.nu/l50v
  Replies (5) Good night (301) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.

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  (616): Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS. http://tfl.nu/6mor
  Replies (3) Good night (186) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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  (610): Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me. http://tfl.nu/e3p7
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (507)

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