Where is the hickey?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
