Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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