Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
