I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
