just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize