You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize