She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
