you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
