you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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