Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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