I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
