it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
