Don't you send me to vm
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
