Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
