D3 body, D1 cock
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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