I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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