How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
