Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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