I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He had one of those small greek statue penises
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
