i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
