Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
