You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
