Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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