Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
id be glad to
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
