Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
