Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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