The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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