using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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