Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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