I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
