Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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