I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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