In the future we'll all be gay
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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