Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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