if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
