This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
