so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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