it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
