the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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