I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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