so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize