i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A+ Viking dick