Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
do herpes really smell.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.