uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
