I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize