I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
