Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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