I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
