i will never coherently bang her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
