Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize