Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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