He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
