ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
