Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
