So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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