she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
