windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
