Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
