im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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